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Early Oscar Review – Steve Martin Commits Suicide

Loved the top actors being recognized at the beginning but like Kate Hepburn said “just read the words”.  It’s the script baby.  It’s all in the script.  The people who actually create the material they’re not recognized nearly enough. Dancing review at the beginning.  Very bold but Neil Patrick Harris didn’t have the pipes to pull it off.  Is Jackie Gleason back in vogue!

Neil Patrick Harris

Neil Patrick Harris love him but doesn't have the chops.

Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin make you smile when you just look at them.  How can you not be off to a good start with that.  God I love Meryl Streep – so flirty, sexy.  She has the record for the most ongoing sexy actress.  It’s in her flirtiness.  It consumes you with a good feeling and you want more of it.  There is something enjoyable about seeing actors squirm in their seats not knowing if they’ll be the butt of a joke.  Ouch Toyota jokes.  He got pissed at that last joke.  Yeah the jig is up.  This technique is bombing.  People are having to think way too much.

Steve Martin Oscar Death

Steve Martin Commits Oscar Suicide

Finally what we’ve been asking for.  A stand up show prior to the boring award’s show. I don’t get the Hitler memorabilia joke.  Did the show just jump the shark?  I think it did.  Everything’s more forced now.  Wow a poor black child joke – way too risky.  It’s getting tense in there.  It’s bombing and I thought it was going to be off to a great start.

The stars get their name shouted out, the camera zooms in and you see them instantly lose their smile.  You feel the FEAR.  It’s painful to watch.  Jeff Bridges is the most relaxed because he probably does weed and yoga.  He’s smart he was brought up in this business and knows how to deal with assholes.   George  Clooney is visibly pissed off and the mood has turned negative.

George Clooney - The Last Movie Star

You Pissed Off the "Last Movie Star" George Clooney

The verdict.  You can’t do a stand up show at an awards ceremony.  It is what it is.  A boring recognition ceremony and the only one’s who care are the ones who have won the award.  It never will be anything different so all we can do is have entertainment shows that discuss what they’re wearing.  So why not make a week of pr-Oscars that is all about Fashion and Merchandising.  People are always looking for a vehicle to sell more “stuff”.  Enough already.  Keep it simple. Pretty cool how they had all the John Hughes amazing actors he launched through his films.  Quite an enterprise that resulted from him seeing their talent.

Any form of thanking a spouse or loved one should be banned from acceptance speeches unless you are willing to fork over 50% of everything you have once you start earning all the big bucks.  If your relationship is rocky to begin with and you think mentioning them in front of billions is going to save it – you’re wrong.  You will start earning big bucks, you’ll be looking at better opportunities, you’ll ditch the bitch/bastard and they’ll take everything you have.   So stop the shout outs to anyone not involved in the movie production.

Don’t start an award by giving the definition of a word.  Already we’ll know we have no fucking idea what this award or movie is about.

Dude don’t go on for an eternity and then tell us you’re drawing a blank. Thanks Steve for making fun of that speech. That’ll really set well after the opening jokes.

Queen Latifah can I roll around in bed with you.

Queen Latifah

Queen Latifah so hot and sexy.

I am in love with Penelope Cruz’s boyfriend, Javier Bardem.

Loved the standing “O” for Mo’Nique.

I’m not fond of “God Bless” being used in speeches.  It’s a blessing that’s open for debate.  It’s not a final saying it’s the beginning of a discussion.

Why do I know so little about Jon Landau the true genius behind Avatar?

Yes I do love listening to Morgan Freeman’s voice.  Soothing.  Calming.  Relaxing.  I love the spoken word all by itself.  Undressed upon your lips.

How could I not know more of Kathryn Bigelow? An incredible movie, The Hurt Locker, smart, sexy, talented, visionary shame on me!!

John Travolta we empathize with your pain.  You’ve been a decent guy to us giving us likable mini heroes we could believe in.

Very weird that people winning Oscars for Avatar aren’t thanking James Cameron.  Is it because he’s a dick?

James Taylor

James Taylor, what an incredible obit honor

For as lame as the opening Jackie Gleason dance was I did enjoy the somewhat ballet dance and African/modern street dance. I think we need to get back to the written, spoken word without images, only those we make in our mind and classic dance and music to soothe the soul.

Yes James Cameron does look quite a bit like a Lesbian Pottery Teacher.

James Cameron Lesbian Pottery Teacher

James Cameron Lesbian Pottery Teacher

The Cove won the Oscar. I’m a big proponent. See my post: “Flipper Committed Suicide”.

Yeah Argentina.  How come we know nothing about you.  In fact we know nothing about South America.  Why?  I guess that’s a whole other story.

Kathy Bates we love you as a natural woman with amazing acting ability.  Earthy, dirt between your teeth type characters.  No pressure to look your best.  Your dress was cool but kill the fluffy curls.  You’re not a fluffy curl kinda gal.

Kathy Bates in a hottub

Kathy Bates - No Hype Needed - Genuine Actor

George Clooney you need to come down off your self.
I wish Colin Farrell didn’t read off the prompter. He’s much better from the heart.

Congratulations Jeff Bridges. You’re cool and talented end your wife is beautiful.

I’m glad Sandra Bullock won but I’m still not fond of her husband Jesse James. I think she can do much better.  Okay too much of a pre-planned speech.

How sad that after all of these years a woman has never won best director?  The time is now.  My fingers are crossed.  And the winner is…. Kathryn Bigelow – Very Exciting!!!!! A little weird on the speech though, are you going to crumble any minute, relax you totally earned it.  It made me understand a warrior much more than I ever did.

The Hurt Locker deserved to win.  Hollywood likes stories not just special effects.

March 7, 2010 Posted by | George Clooney, Oscars | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment